Out of the mouths of babes... or of one babe in particular, my darling goddessdaughter Littletree.
Littletree comes inside from playing outdoors.
Me: Watcha bin up to?
Littletree: I was playing an imagination game. I imagined that our treehouse was a community and Leonard and Penny and Howard and Raj and Bernadette and Sheldon and Amy were all there. And - hey, well, you know how Penny really likes drinking alcohol? - well, she was getting addicted to alcohol and we were trying to get her to stop drinking so much alcohol and have a break.
During goodnight snuggles.
Littletree: Demelza, I'm really glad that you are my godmother. I'm glad I didn't have someone who was really strict and all, like, (screwing up face, wagging a pointing finger and using a screechy voice) 'You get into your pyjamas now girl!'
Littletree: Hey, um, what's cellulite?
(fortunately I had some that I had prepared earlier ready to show her.)
Littletree: Oh. Is that it?
Me: Yes sweetie, that's what cellulite is.
Littletree: Oh. Well, why do people say that it's something bad?
Littletree: I've never known anyone Uncle CJ's age who just sits in a chair and watches TV so much before.
Me: Yes, Uncle CJ is getting old and tired now. He used to do lots of work when he was younger, before he got sick, but now he rests a lot.
Littletree: Yes. Uncle CJ is amazing. He is very intelligent, and he is an engineering person.
I had just shown Littletree a shortcut for getting back to a previously viewed website while looking at pictures of microbes on the Internet. This was a highly unusual turn of events, as usually it is she who is showing me how to use a computer.
Littletree: (one hand flung theatrically across her heart, the other patting my head) Oh, you're growing up so fast!
Littletree: (referring to a recent conversation about coffee consumption) Uncle CJ, do you drink a lot of coffee?
Uncle CJ: Yes. I drink a lot of coffee.
Uncle CJ: Really, a lot.
Littletree: Yeah, I hear you.
In the car, driving home after being out shopping.
Littletree: Hey, can I tell you about dragons?
Me: Sure sweetie, we'd love to hear about dragons.
Littletree: Okay, I'll just get out this book about dragons. (pulls an imaginary book out of thin air.) This book has all the information about dragons... (reads aloud from imaginary book, running her finger across the imaginary page)... There are different species of dragons, some are Sapphires and some are Emeralds. The Sapphire dragons are the boy dragons and the Emerald dragons are the girl dragons. A Sapphire and an Emerald can have a baby dragon together, and the baby dragon could be a Sapphire or it could be an Emerald. So you see, two Sapphire dragons couldn't have a baby together... (suddenly pauses and looks up from imaginary book, as though a thought had just occurred to her) oh, well, unless they were gay.